NVC Monthly Newsletter

March 2023

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Events

New Title! - The Heart of Nonviolent Communication

Do you want to express yourself honestly and compassionately? Learn to live in choice rather than submit or rebel? This book explores 25 key distinctions that reveal the consciousness embedded in Nonviolent Communication. Drawing on brain science with awareness of systemic conditioning, each chapter presents examples from around the world alongside practices that will move you toward the spirit of true connection.

25 Key Distinctions

• Life-Connected and Life-Disconnected Mindsets
• Value Judgments and Moralistic Judgments
• Interdependence and Dependence/Independence
• Power-With and Power-Over
• Choice and Submission/Rebellion
• Observation and Observation Mixed With Evaluation
• Feelings and Feelings Mixed With Thoughts
• Needs and Strategies
• Requests and Demands
• Idiomatic Language and Classical(Formal) Language
• Being Giraffe and Doing Giraffe
• Empathy and Sympathy/Other Responses
• Empathic Sensing and Intellectual Guessing
• Self-Empathy and Acting Out, Repressing or Wallowing
• Giraffe Honesty and Jackal Honesty
• Protective and Punitive Use of Force
• Respect for Authority and Fear of Authority
• Self-Discipline and Obedience
• Natural and Habitual Ways of Being
• Vulnerability and Weakness
• Stimulus and Cause
• Persisting and Demanding
• Shift and Compromise
• Appreciation and Approval/Compliments/Praise
• Love as a Feeling and Love as a Need

Website Created by First Generation NVC Team Members

First Generation NVCers sharing what they learned directly from Marshall over the span of decades

This new and wonderful web resource contains:

• Video interviews on 13 different aspects of NVC
• Articles written by First Generation NVCers
• Pictures of Marshall throught the years
• A link to the transcript of 20 hours of interviews with Marshall about his life
• And more!

This project took time and is now available for you to see. The website was a work of love by all who were involved and is a valuable resource for those who are interested in NVC.

CNVC Fundraiser - Financial Assistance Fund

Help people who can make an impact in the world attend an intensive training

Many people around the world are bringing peace and nonviolence into their communities and are eager to learn Nonviolent Communication skills to make an even bigger impact.

However, many of them -- particularly people in African, Latin American, and Asian countries -- lack the financial resources to access NVC training that would enable them to contribute more to nonviolent social change in their communities.

By contributing to our Financial Assistance Fund, you can help to make it possible for people like this to attend one of our International Intensive Trainings (IITs) and strengthen their skills in peacemaking and collaborative problem solving.

Kalapa Workshop - Interpersonal Effectiveness and NVC - Begins March 8th

What would happen if you master Nonviolent Communication skills?

By Alan Rafael Seid, CNVC Certified Trainer and founder of Kalapa

The first thing that would happen is your stress would go down.

This would happen in part because all your relationships would improve.

But it would happen first because your relationship with yourself would become dramatically better.

When you can connect to what is motivating you from a place of aliveness, moment-to-moment, the quality of your life improves!

And when you have resolved your self-judgments, other peoples’ judgments can’t touch you.

If someone comes at you with blame, judgment, criticism, or a verbal attack — you are able to hear the needs or values at the root of their message. You are therefore less defensive and able to stand in a more compassionate place. AND you are much more likely to defuse any potential conflict.

When you master NVC skills, you know how to speak your truth, share your perspective, in a way that is much more likely to elicit a compassionate response.

You will know the secret for how to make through challenging conversations.

You will know the basics for preventing and resolving conflicts.

You will set better boundaries — with firmness and care.

You will be able to transform all your most significant relationships to ones of mutual understanding, closeness, and mutually satisfying decisions.

The only public NVC training Kalapa is offering this year starts March 8th!

Communicate with Clarity, Power, and Compassion: Introduction to NVC and Interpersonal Effectiveness

“My need is for safety, fun, and to have distribution of resources, a sustainable life on the planet. NVC is a strategy that serves me to meet these needs.”
-Marshall Rosenberg

Articles

Nonviolent Communication is a process developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg that grew out of his attempts to understand why some people appear to enjoy violence and others derive the deepest joy from being of service to others.

While studying with Carl Rogers he was intrigued by the notion that authentic human connection can be healing. From this understanding, he set out to discover the basic elements in thought, language, communication, and the use of power that can most contribute to a high quality of connection.

NVC is premised on the notion that all people share Universal Human Needs. These are, at the same time, the conditions necessary for life to thrive in any human regardless of culture or geographic location, and also core human motivators. Dr. Rosenberg used this term, needs, to describe variations of this life energy as it shows up in any given person, moment-to-moment.

Read More

Book Specials

Handouts

“Remember that our goal of Nonviolent Communication is not to get what we want, but to make a human connection that will result in everyone getting their needs met. It’s is as simple and as complex as that."

-Marshall Rosenberg

Book Excerpts

Reach the excerpt here

Read the excerpt here

Read the excerpt here

“Giraffe is two things: accurate empathy, and revealing yourself genuinely-what’s alive in you at the moment. Not going off and talking about thoughts, unless the thoughts serve the life that’s going on in the moment."

-Marshall Rosenberg

Learning

The NVC Academy offers hundreds of affordable online personal growth courses and resources to learn Nonviolent Communication from home.

Visit the NVC Academy

The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) is a global organization that supports the learning and sharing of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and helps people peacefully and effectively resolve conflicts in personal, organizational, and political settings.

Visit CNVC.org/Trainings

“If you’re not really in touch with your feelings and needs, 

you’re not in touch with life.”

-Marshall Rosenberg

Peaceful Daily Reflection

Minor things can become moments of great revelation
when encountered for the first time.

Many of us have rarely asked for what we want, so a few tips on how to do this are in order. 

Tip number one: Ask for what you want, not what you don’t want. One time I was in a car with two young boys. One of them kicked his brother, so I said: “Jake, when you kick your brother I feel sad because I value everyone’s safety. So please don’t kick your brother.” He said, “OK,” and then hit his brother! I once drove for miles on a highway looking for a speed limit sign. Finally, one appeared and it said, “No longer a forty-five-mph zone.” I burst out laughing. All I knew was that I shouldn’t drive forty-five, but I had no idea what the actual speed limit was. 

Tip number two: Be specific. If you want the house to be tidied up in thirty minutes, say so. Otherwise, you leave yourself open to frustration and disappointment. People may interpret “soon” in different ways. You may have experienced this already. Have the confidence to be specific. 

Tip number three: Make the request doable. Avoid asking someone to do something they simply cannot do, such as asking a person to write a thirty-page report in an evening, or your partner to bring in the garbage can if he’ll be out of town. When you make a request in a compassionate relationship, everyone’s needs are considered and valued equally.

The final tip is to get into the habit of making requests. Everyone wants to give and receive compassionately. Don’t you enjoy contributing to people’s lives? They want to contribute to yours as well. Give them the gift of your request. The worst thing that can happen is they’ll say no.

Make a specific, doable request of at least two people today.

This excerpt from Peaceful Living: Daily Meditations for Living with Love, Healing, and Compassion by Mary Mackenzie.

Sign Up for the 365 Daily Meditations

Learn About the Book Here

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