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NVC Monthly NewsletterJune 2023 |
We hope you find value in the resources we are providing today! We invite you to share with friends, family, colleagues, and others, if you believe they might also find value in this. Our most recently featured topic is written on POLICING. Our website covers over 35 different topics from an NVC perspective-all written by a senior certified trainer on behalf of PuddleDancer Press. Please read some to learn more. If you are new to Nonviolent Communication please visit our page on the basics of Nonviolent Communication. Please stay safe and healthy! Thank you :) PuddleDancer Press
What You'll Find in This Month's Newsletter:Events - New Book! - The Heart of Nonviolent Communication
- The Compassion Course - Thom Bond
- First Generation NVCers Invite You to Gather
Articles - Nonviolent Communication and Policing
- Better Boundaries - Frustration to Freedom - Part 3 of 3
By Beth Banning
- Sharing Feelings & Needs with Family
- SUDAN IIT 2023 report from senior trainer Gitta Zimmerman
- Kenya school project fundraiser
Book Specials 50% OFF both full Retail and eBooks
Price - The Healing Power of Empathy
- Connecting Across Differences
- Being Genuine
Distance Learning Opportunities - NVC Academy
- The Center for Nonviolent Communication Trainings
Book Excerpts - The Healing Power of Empathy - 3
Stories
- Connecting Across Differences - Chapter 1
- Start Being Real - Chapter 1
Handouts - Downloads
- Recommended Links
Peaceful Daily Reflection/Meditation - Improving Relationships as a Primary Goal
Poem - Wake Up! Life Is Too Short To...
In the News - Communication Skills for Humans - The Good Men Project
Resources - Becoming a CNVC certified trainer
- Guidelines for Sharing NVC for Individuals who are not Certified Trainers
Video - Unsung Hero - Inspirational Video
NVC Resources - NVC TIP SERIES (Free daily and weekly tips)
- FREE RESOURCES
- NVC FACEBOOK GROUPS
- NEW ** NVC LINKEDIN GROUPS ** NEW
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New Title! - The Heart of Nonviolent Communication Now 30% off retail!
Do you want to express yourself honestly and compassionately? Learn to live in choice rather than submit or rebel? This book explores 25 key distinctions that reveal the consciousness embedded in Nonviolent Communication.
Drawing on brain science with awareness of systemic conditioning, each chapter presents examples from around the world alongside practices that will move you toward the spirit of true connection.
25 Key Distinctions - Life-Connected and Life-Disconnected Mindsets
- Value Judgments and Moralistic Judgments
- Interdependence and
Dependence/Independence
- Power-With and Power-Over
- Choice and Submission/Rebellion
- Observation and Observation Mixed With Evaluation
- Feelings and Feelings Mixed With Thoughts
- Needs and Strategies
- Requests and Demands
- Idiomatic Language and Classical(Formal) Language
- Being Giraffe and Doing Giraffe
- Empathy and Sympathy/Other Responses
- Empathic Sensing and Intellectual Guessing
- Self-Empathy and Acting Out, Repressing or Wallowing
- Giraffe Honesty and Jackal Honesty
- Protective and Punitive Use of Force
- Respect for Authority and Fear of Authority
- Self-Discipline and Obedience
- Natural and Habitual Ways of Being
- Vulnerability and Weakness
- Stimulus and Cause
- Persisting and Demanding
- Shift and Compromise
- Appreciation and
Approval/Compliments/Praise
- Love as a Feeling and Love as a Need
The Compassion Course with Thom Bond
"For anyone who wants to have more compassion, understanding and harmony in their lives and in our world” The 2023 Course Registration is now open. Course begins June 21st, 2023.
Results you can expect from the course: - Experience more harmony and understanding with important people in your life
- Have less painful, shorter conflicts
- Have more awareness
of your needs, wants and desires
- Have your needs expressed and understood
- Increase congruence between your values and actions
- Translate judgments into dialogues & requests
- Increase harmony and understanding among others
- Stay more centered, open and effective in conflicts
First Generation NVCers Invite You to Gather
Please consider saving the date and the link below and join us on our zoom: All certified trainers, candidates and friends of NVC are welcome. Date: June 17, 2023, 10:00 am to 11:30 am PDT We ere pleased with the interest and response to our last gathering in April and we are inviting you to another get together. We’d like to have a deeper connection
with what is important to all of us and to respond to previous questions for which we did not have time at the last meeting. And we hope to share a different clip of our video project. Gathering Zoom Link Videos |
Nonviolent Communication and Policing |
Nonviolent Communication, or NVC, is a process for creating the quality of connection out of which people spontaneously want to contribute to one another’s well-being. Policing is another name for the act of enforcing laws. Though policing could some day evolve beyond relying so heavily on enforcement, in this article, the terms policing and law enforcement are used synonymously. Where do laws come
from, and what is the connection between NVC & law enforcement? The foundation of human relationships, community, and civilization is trust. It’s natural for our species to establish norms and have agreements for how to behave around each other, in order to contribute to safety, trust, autonomy, and many other needs. This has been true over time — in foraging, horticultural, agricultural, industrial, and post-industrial cultures — as well as at every
level of scope — including family, town, city — and in personal and professional life. An informal version of norms and agreements could be as simple as a shared understanding for how to behave in certain contexts — for example, you wait in line for the cup of coffee or the movie ticket. A more formal version involves legislatures, courts, enforcement, and consequences. Read More
Better Boundaries - Frustration to Freedom - Part 3 of 3 by Beth Banning
I remember it clearly… The ketchup bottle was in my hand one second and flying towards his head in the next. Don't worry, the bottle was plastic, and I missed, but I still could have hurt him, and the whole experience scared the crap out of me. At that moment, my act of violence woke me up. I thought I must be going out of my mind. How could I possibly
get to a point where I was willing to cause physical harm to another human being? When I think back to just before I threw the bottle...
Sharing Feelings & Needs with Family by Matthew Lederman, MD
The first step to sharing your feelings and needs with the people you care about is to learn the tools to get in touch with your true feelings and needs. Many women, in particular, get the message directly or indirectly to suppress their needs to meet the needs of others, so connecting to their needs can prove quite challenging. This is where the skill of discernment comes in. It can catapult healing and personal growth to new
levels. What’s more, “just” connecting to your needs in a given moment can stimulate a wonderful sense of inner peace, even when you are unable to meet those needs in that moment.
SUDAN IIT 2023 report from senior trainer Gitta Zimmerman
I am invited by the Swiss consulate to offer a NVC workshop: first for the staff of the consulate and in the second part for different NGO´s working all over in South Sudan, like UNFPA, Red Cross, FAO, Nonviolent Peace Force, Plan International, Peace Canal, Care, Peace and development, Whitaker Initiative, Church, and more – so many organizations which include the word peace or nonviolent in their name and never heard about NVC. I
am very astonished, because for me the basis of the needs is missing. NVC was new to all of them. We started the workshop off with the 4 corners game ( a game to distinguish between needs and strategies) and participants walked around engaging in it even before they had had time to take their seats. After one minute they were laughing. Any possible tension was gone. This was expressed in one feedback as well: no line up of chairs, no screen, just an activity – light
and easy for everyone to go with... Update addition to the report: Following our time in South Sudan with the Swiss consulate in April I now got an invitation from the UN FPA for 4 more workshops and 170 participants: 70 staff and 100 participants are partners from the UN in South Sudan. Imagine the multiplier effect! I am so happy and proud - all effort was worth it. Any feedback is welcome.
Kenya school project fundraiser
As you might have heard I am involved in a wonderful school project in Rusinga Island, Kenya: A secondary school based on Nonviolent Communication (NVC) values. I have given my heart and passion to this project for several reasons - the biggest reason being that it will give dedicated spaces to teenage mothers. Many girls get pregnant much too early, some by rape and some by consent. In many cases they are thrown out of school and
out of home. I would like to support them to come back to school, and increase their chances for a life with more options than selling sex for food, which is what many of them end up doing when they are left with no other means of providing for their child and themselves.... |
Wake Up! Life Is Too Short To...
Always play it safe.; Be 'right' instead of happy. Carry a grudge Do 'just enough' to get by. Engage your mouth when angry. Forget what really matters. Give up on your dreams. Have a chip on your shoulder. IImpose limitations on yourself. Just work for the money. Keep walking on eggshells. Leave words unspoken. Make mountains out of molehills. Not try, for fear of failure. Obey all the rules. Pretend to be someone you're not. Quit
when the going gets tough. Risk nothing, do nothing. Sweat the small stuff. Try to please everybody. Use blame, shame or guilt. Value things more than people. Wait for the other shoe to drop. Xperience life as a spectator. Yearn for the 'good old days.' Zip right through it. © Meiji Stewart |
"My need for safety, fun and to have distribution of resources, a sustainable life on the planet. Nonviolent Communication is a strategy that serves me to meet these needs.." Marshall Rosenberg |
"NVC gives us tools and understanding to create a more peaceful state of mind." Marshall Rosenberg |
The Healing Power of Empathy - 3 Stories |
Connecting Across Differences - Chapter 1 |
Being Genuine - Chapter 1 |
"Giraffe is that language which makes it possible for us to connect with each other in a way that we give from the heart to each other." Marshall Rosenberg |
"If your not really in touch with your feelings and needs, you are not in touch with life." Marshall Rosenberg |
CNVC is committed to the vision of a critical mass of the world's population using Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to resolve differences peacefully. A strong community of qualified trainers will play an important role in the realization of this goal.
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The NVC Academy offers hundreds of affordable online personal growth courses and resources to learn Nonviolent Communication from home.
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The Center for Nonviolent Communication
The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) is a global organization that supports the learning and sharing of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and helps people peacefully and effectively resolve conflicts in personal, organizational, and political settings.
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"There is nothing we human beings enjoy more, by our nature, than compassionate giving." Marshall Rosenberg |
Unsung Hero an Inspirational Video |
"To me, giving of ourselves means an honest expression of what’s alive in us at the moment" Marshall Rosenberg |
Stay Connected to the Values of Compassion With the Free 365 Daily Peaceful Living Meditations.
I am not easily frightened. Not because I am brave but because I know that I am dealing with human beings, and that I must try as hard as I can to understand everything that anyone ever does. —Etty Hillesum, Holocaust survivor
Improving Relationships as a Primary Goal Compassionate Communication suggests that improving the quality of our relationships is a primary goal. Indeed, that connection with ourselves and other people takes a higher priority than being right, winning, making more money, or looking good to other people. If you focus on improving the quality of your relationships through deeper connections, you will improve the state of your
life, enhance the peace and love in your life, and feel better about yourself. I learned this through personal experience. I worked from time to time with a business colleague. Over the years, our relationship deteriorated to the point where we had no civil connections with each other. Our association was worst just as I was starting to look at how I contributed to the angst in my relationships. As a result, I started to focus more on my connections with people rather
than trying to be right or to win arguments. Within a remarkably short time, my colleague was telling me how much she admired the changes I was making and how much she enjoyed her relationship with me. We both expressed our sadness for our earlier behaviors. Today, we are close colleagues who work together in a variety of projects and easily call each other a friend. When you shift your focus to valuing your connection with other people, you improve the quality of your
life and your relationships. Everyone who crosses your path will benefit from this shift of focus. It is inevitable. Be aware today of the times when your priority is to win or to be right rather than to connect, then shift your focus to connection with others. |
- NVC TIP SERIES (Free daily and weekly tips)
- FREE RESOURCES
- NVC FACEBOOK PAGES
We hope you find value in our monthly newsletters. We would love to receive ANY feedback or suggestions you may want to share. Please let others know about our newsletter to help spread nonviolent communication, love, hope, humor and compassion, if you are willing :)
We want a more compassionate, equitable, peaceful, safe and healthy world.
Please be safe!
Warmly,
PuddleDancer Press
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