"Behind intimidating messages are simply people appealing to us to meet their
needs. "
~Marshall B Rosenberg
Featured Article
Starting Life Again
In this excerpt from Miki Kashtan's forthcoming book Reweaving Our Human Future, she presents a vision of elders contributing to the next generation. This is one of the book’s twelve “Wisdom Tales from the Future.”
Starting Life Again
Her face didn’t betray her panic. She didn’t want anyone to know what was going on. She, Ayelet Shoshani, famed inventor of a breakthrough process for synthesizing customized, 100% non-toxic polymers,[1] couldn’t think through the mathematical puzzle in front of her. This was the second time in three weeks. No matter how much she concentrated, one variable or another dropped out of her mental grasp. She had gone to the doctor after the first time, where she
learned she had a degenerative disease, incurable. The doctor told her it would be gradual. Initially it would only happen when she was particularly tired, or at the end of a long day. Then, slowly, she would be challenged more and more often. Her useful days as a scientist were coming to an end. Yes, she could lecture, and do other things. She didn’t imagine she could continue on the creative edge she had been on for all these years. What was she going to do? She was 74. Many people her age
were shifting to being with the children. It was the standard approach to what used to be called childcare. She didn’t know what she would do with children. Their interests didn’t capture her imagination, and playing was not her thing. And yet she never forgot what it was like to be a child. She liked to think of herself as poorly socialized, which she didn’t consider a bad thing. She still hadn’t learned how to say things in the right moment. Like children, she tended to say things when they
were true. This often got her in trouble, though she usually got out of it because of her stature. All in all, she had a lot of respect for children, despite her awkwardness with them. How could she not, given her history?
" Your presence is the most precious gift you can give to another human
being."
~Marshall B Rosenberg
Article
Sharing a Compassionate Light on Violent Communication
By Buddhistdoor Global
"Rise mercifully upon our darkened hearts, and deliver us from the trench warfare of yet another government shutdown." (PBS NewsHour)
These were the words uttered by Senate Chaplain Barry Black on 2 January 2019, as he opened the US Senate with his daily prayer, an activity he has been undertaking for the past 15 years. The partial shutdown of the government started on 22 December 2018, after negotiations between President Trump and Democrats on the US-Mexico wall came to an impasse. Having failed to secure funding for the
wall, the president declared a shutdown and said he was “proud” to do so, a statement that has sparked anger and fear among many, myself included. The country has since come to a standstill, affecting the livelihoods of an estimated 800,000 federal employees. For those of us who were hoping for a positive start to 2019, things are not looking promising.
"Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling
prophecies."
~Marshall B Rosenberg
Article
'Openness of the heart': Workshop focuses on compassionate communication
by Juneau Empire
An upcoming workshop places an emphasis on empathy.
Jared Finkelstein and Kathleen Macferran will be in town this week to lead a multi-day workshop that focuses on communicating with clarity and finding commonalities.
"I think we’re in a moment in time where it’s particularly apparent finding common human ground is imperative," Finkelstein said. "In certain circles these ideas are really taking root."
Nothing makes a doctor’s visit more discouraging than an unempathetic physician.
Whether you’re receiving preventive care, or treatment for an acute or chronic condition, feeling compassion from your doctor goes a long way.
“Your relationship with your doctor should be based on mutual respect. You are dealing with high stakes here. This is your healthcare,” Anthony J. Orsini, DO, neonatologist at Winnie Palmer Hospital in Orlando, Florida, told Healthline.
“It’s very important for you to understand and feel a bond with your physician so when you leave the hospital or doctor’s office you fully understand what’s going on,” he said.
Orsini, who’s also the president of BBN, an organization dedicated to training healthcare professionals about compassionate communication, conducted a study in Winnie Palmer Hospital’s NICU unit, one of the largest in the nation.
PuddleDancer Press does not agree with every statement but we still thought this article was worth sharing.
16 Things You'll Notice When You're in the Presence of an Empath
by Intelligence Is Sexy
“Yes, we notice a lot of what goes on around us- but you’ll notice some things about us too.” Can you remember an instance when someone, a complete stranger, poured their heart out to you? It probably happened without warning, and the emotions they were feeling were coursing through your heart as well.
There is something magnetic about an empath; they have a force that draws other’s towards them. These people who open up to you, they don’t know why they do it- and it doesn’t matter. We give them comfort and reassurance, and after riding the roller-coaster with them, we do our best to help them find peace.
Author of Non-Violent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg, gives us a concise definition of what empathy really is: “In empathy, you don’t speak at all. You speak with the eyes. You speak with the body. If you say any words at all, it’s because you are not sure you are with the person. So you may say some words. But the words are not empathy. Empathy is when the other person feels the connection to with what’s alive in
you.”
So, yes, we notice a lot of what goes on around us- but you’ll notice some things about us too.
16 Signs You’re In The Presence Of An Empath
1. We are often told we’re “too sensitive” or “too emotional.”
"People do not hear our pain when they believe they are at
fault."
~Marshall B. Rosenberg
Article
Four Codes of Compassion and Survival in Medicine
by inSight+
Dr Jonathan Page, FRACP, is an oncologist with the Northern Beaches Cancer Service, Manly Hospital and the University of Sydney. Through personal mid-life decline and the generosity of his patients, he discovered the vital healing role of the psycho-spiritual domain. You can read more about him here. You can email him at jpage1@tpg.com.au.
I AM an oncologist. I’m 67. The end is in sight, and I’m comfortable with that. In October last year, together with my many battle-weary coevals, I “celebrated” 40 years of medical practice. I’ve thus been reflecting even more intensively than usual, on those dimly-lit decades and, inevitably, the student years that preceded that graduation.
It’s been a struggle. In this I’m not alone. At least, I imagine this is the case, but of course we in medicine rarely talk of deeply personal matters. I was ill-prepared to be a medical student. I was a kind, bright and vigorous 18-year-old who eventually survived this trial by fire, but only just.
At 19, I found myself in a room with 20 cadavers, some headless – the first of the terrible sights. I think my tutor felt this was an ordinary day, but it wasn’t for me. I did not tell my family. The secrets and the desensitisation had begun.
Of course, we endured interminable lectures, exams, tutorials, then clinical exposure, with rounds and clinics. There was the inevitable use of humiliation as a teaching technique (which taught us many things, including emulation). Then we encountered further “dreadful sights” ‒ the failed resuscitation of a 30-year-old mother, the mutilated dead on arrival, the patients with sudden infant death syndrome with inconsolable
parents, and so many more. We were not well supported. We learnt to harden up and hollow out.
By observation, we learnt that our survival depended on the real or pretended eradication of empathy.
Connecting Across Differences (Episode 12): Creativity, Empathy, and Possibility
Connecting Across Differences is a podcast by Dian Killian, Ph.D. of Work Collaboratively about having greater empathy for yourself and others, and how to hear others more deeply and make sure
that you’ve been heard.
Happy New Year!. For me, each new year brings excitement about new beginnings.. How will I learn and develop this year?. What new things will I try?. All of this is about creativity -- finding new, creative solutions to problems that have previously bogged me down.
Creativity is core to Collaborative Communication.. I often talk about “empathy magic” -- how, when someone (or both parties) is deeply heard, all kinds of new strategies emerge.
If we are deficient in empathy, it's unlikely that we will see generative, positive ideas and solutions -- they simply don't exist in our awareness until we receive empathy.. Once we’re heard, we can relax our bodies and return to equilibrium.. In that state, our blood can flow, we let go of old hurts, and this process opens up the space for new possibilities.
Also, speaking of what’s new, I am very excited to announce the launch of our new podcast series. This year the podcast will include:
interviews about how Collaborative Communication is being applied in different fields.
book reviews.
a series of podcasts about the Key Distinctions of Collaborative Communication.
I hope you’ll listen and share the podcast with others! It’s a great way to deepen your learning while doing daily tasks like dishes or driving. And speaking of creativity, our first podcast of 2019 is on that topic -- the relationship between empathy, creativity and the arts.. I am pleased that Bob Calvano, Vice President of Design at A&E Networks and also a professional drummer, is our guest.
As a V.P., Bob manages a large team.. In addition to discussing how empathy is similar to using a metronome and how he uses “empathy maps” in his design work, he also shares how practicing Collaborative Communication has made a significant difference in how he works with his reports. I hope you’ll listen to this podcast and please let me know what you think!
All 12 episodes are available from the same link - highly recommended :)
Videos/Podcasts
Marshall Rosenberg KEXP Presents Mind Over Matters Sustainability Segment Podcast
By KEXP. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio streamed directly from their servers.
The Sustainability Segment presents one-on-one interviews with inspiring leaders and grass roots activists on a variety of environmental, social, and economic issues affecting life and the future of our planet. Click
Here to Play.
Audios
The Science of Compassion
By NPR | Maggie Penman, Shankar Vedantam
By KEXP. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio streamed directly from their servers.
Plenty of people learn about ideas in psychology, but Kellie Gillespie, a writer based in London, did something unusual. She took what she had learned in the class, and applied it in her own life.
"My life changed after doing Professor Plous' course," Kellie says.
The course was in social psychology, taught by Scott Plous of Wesleyan University. Hundreds of thousands of other people enrolled in the same online course.
Kellie and her virtual classmates were exposed to psychological concepts such as the norm of reciprocity: if you're nice to someone, or you open up to them, they're likely to do the same with you. They also learned about the power of empathy: when you put yourself in someone else's shoes, it profoundly changes the relationship you have with them.
The ideas in the course carried into Kellie's life in London. Kellie was spending a lot of time at the British Library, and she often noticed the same young man on the street nearby. She could tell he was homeless. It started simply, with Kellie giving the man whatever spare change she had. But after a couple of months, she wanted to do more.
A pdf handout rich with details on Compassionate Nonviolent Communication by Rachelle Lamb www.rachellelamb.com. And now we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been.
Boy Battling Cancer Loves to Dance to Michael Jackson Songs
Scroll down to the third image to hear the music and enjoy his dancing!
Little Solomon Lutui is moonwalking his way through chemotherapy — and into recovery. In May 2018, the 5-year-old boy from Seattle, Washington, was diagnosed with a desmoplastic small round cell tumor in his abdomen. He began chemotherapy at Seattle Children’s Hospital not long after the tumor’s discovery, and like most children his age, Solomon quickly grew restless during the long
stays at the medical center that followed. Well, until he discovered the King of Pop, that is.
(I loved this one so much we are repeating it here-it applies for every day:)
May you fall madly in love today .. in love with someone who unhinges your tired trajectory, in love with a spouse of several years who might be aching for lightning, in love with demanding children and crazy relatives .. in love with the particular pedigree of genius insanity that has perhaps claimed you in spite of your reluctance .. and certainly in love with an animal, a cloud, a redwood, the wild .. these at least once a day. May you fall in love with
this fragile jewel of a world, with hard work, real learning, just causes, petitioning and prayers. May you fall in love with wonder itself, with the grand mystery, with all that feeds you in order that you may live .. and with the responsibility that that confers. May you fall in love with heartbreak and seeing how it's stitched into everything. May you fall in love with the natural order of things and with tears, tenderness and humility. May this be a magnificent year for you. May you fall
deeply, madly, hopelessly, inextinguishably in love.
Nonviolent Communication Companion Workbook, 2nd Edition
The complementary workbook to Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, which has sold more than 1,000,000 copies Learning the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) process has often been equated with
learning a whole new way of thinking and speaking. The NVC Companion Workbook helps you easily put these powerful, effective skills into practice with chapter-by-chapter study of Marshall Rosenberg's cornerstone text, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. Find a wealth of activities, exercises, and facilitator suggestions to refine and practice this powerful way of communicating. Join the hundreds of thousands worldwide who have improved their relationships and their lives with this
simple yet revolutionary process. Included in the new edition is a complete chapter on conflict resolution and mediation.
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