"The Zero Step: What we do before we open our mouths influences what happens next!"
How to Have Better Arguments With Your Significant Other
True Leadership Starts With Kindness Built On Empathy
Teaching Nonviolent Communication in a US Prison
India Inc. Battles Sexual Harassment With Workshops
VIDEOS/PODCASTS
This Is the Most PRECIOUS Thing You Can Do - Marshall Rosenberg
Vision of the Future- Marshall Rosenberg
Teaching NVC (In Prison)
QUOTES BY MARSHALL ROSENBERG AND OTHERS
INSPIRATION, FUN, AND OTHER GOOD STUFF
Pinteresting
A Night of "Compassion in Action" Comes to NYC
Marshall's Wisdom Illustrated
MISC
UNAI to Host Conference on Unlocking Your Emotions to Achieve the SDGs
Disability Action Center Host Non-Violent Crisis Communication Training
A Review of NVC3 on Amazon
FREE RESOURCES
We are not paid to endorse the following. We highly value the content and wanted to share it with you.
Sounds True Has NVC 2nd Edition on Audio
Find Additional NVC Audios on Sounds True
NVC Distance Learning Available at NVC Academy
Compassion Course Online
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Tim McGraw - Live Like You Were Dying (Official Music Video)
NVC Facebook and Yahoo! Groups
NVC Free Resources
NVC Book Special
Our Newest Book - The Healing Power of Empathy (276 pages) by Mary Goyer. She is a senior NVC Trainer. There are nearly 100 short stories focused on these three areas of empathy: family,business and community. We have placed sample
stories below so you can see what a treasure trove this book is :)
From the Film 'The Road to Peace' - The Dalai Lama
Says:
"Peace does not mean there is no longer any conflict amongst humanity, conflict is bound to happen. So in order to keep the peace the only realistic method is through the spirit of dialogue. So I often
share this with people. Now let us try to create this in this century, a century of dialogue. Then I think there is a real possibility of peace."
Featured Article
"The Zero Step": What we do before we open our mouths influences what happens next! Jim Manske Certified Trainer for The Center of Nonviolent Communication...
Published on NVCNextGen.org
Shortly after meeting Marshall Rosenberg in November of 2000, Jori and I started attending the Community NVC Practice Group in Albuquerque. One member of the group, Mel Schneider, offered the group a lesson he called “The Zero Step”. Mel started the presentation by writing the numbers 1 through 4 on the whiteboard:
1.
2.
3.
4.
He then filled in the blank next to each number, enumerating the four components of NVC.
1. Observation
2. Feeling
3. Need
4. Request
He briefly reviewed what each component meant. He said something like, “Observation refers to what we see and hear. Feeling means the physical sensations and emotions we notice in our body. Needs are the universal values that cause our feelings. Requests are the action step that moves us forward into making life more wonderful.”
This was already familiar. As I once heard Marshall say, “you can learn the basic components of NVC in 5 minutes or less.”
Then he went back to the board and wrote a 0 at the top o
0.
1. Observation
2. Feeling
3. Need
4. Request
And after the 0 he wrote two words
0. ZERO STEP
1. Observation
2. Feeling
3. Need
4. Request
Intrigued, we all leaned forward. I thought, “What is this? I don’t remember seeing this in Marshall’s book! He didn’t mention this at the workshop we just went to. I wonder what this is about.”
Mel explained that his understanding and practice of NVC centered around the idea that “all the rest” of NVC follows from one underlying premise: the intention that we each bring to every communication matters to the outcome! He also reminded us of the ever-present environment in which we practice NVC: the present moment. In other words, when we take the time and energy to get clear about our intention, before communicating with one
another, we increase the likelihood of living compassionately.
In the moments before we engage in a conversation, the choices we make profoundly influence everyone involved. When we begin with an intention to connect, we naturally enter into the present moment, the only “time and place” that the connection we so fervently want actually exists.
"Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay
vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help us hear the word 'no' without taking it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence."
~Marshall B. Rosenberg
Article
How to Have Better Arguments With Your Significant Other
Published on PsychologyToday.com
It is noted that 90% of employees across generations view empathy as important in their workplace.
No matter how strong your romantic relationship is, at some point you’re going to have disagreements. And while never arguing is an unrealistic goal, arguing better is an essential one.
Thankfully all of us can improve the quality of our communication, including the way we argue. In my recent discussion with communication specialist Oren Jay Sofer on the Think Act Be podcast, I asked for his guidance on how we can communicate more
effectively. He noted the following five principles for transforming our patterns of speaking and listening, as detailed in his book Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication.
1. Be present.
Many disagreements start because we weren’t really listening to the other person. Our undivided attention is “the most essential prerequisite of communication,” Oren told me. “We have to be here. If we’re thinking about something else, lost in thought, distracted—no communication actually happens.”
It’s easier than ever to be distracted by the constant intrusion of social media and other alerts. Even when we intend to be present and engaged, we might find our minds wandering off, especially if we’re having a conversation we’d rather avoid.
"Children need far more than basic skills in reading,
writing, and math, as important as those might be. Children also need to learn how to think for themselves, how to find meaning in what they learn, and how to work and live together."
~Marshall B. Rosenberg
Article
True Leadership Starts With Kindness Built On Empathy
Published on Thrive Global
A few years ago I thought my world was coming to an end, just like before.
My boss pulled me aside. My head started to ache.
He told me that he was not pleased with my current performance. My heart skipped a beat.
Then I got scared. Was I about to lose my job? Was I about to start over – again?
Our team wasn’t making the growth we needed to make. I wasn’t performing the way I should. My team was doing an ok job yet the potential we had was not being realized.
Then he asked me what was going on? Then he asked me what he could do to help?
I told him everything. Everything was made right.
I changed. I was lead. I was showed kindness. I learned how to lead.
This boss is the best leader I have ever worked for, all because he practiced empathy.
Inspired leadership is created when the ego is destroyed.
True leaders give trust before they ask for it. The culture they create is proven by the way they lead.
As a leader, your company culture is determined by the actions you take and the conversations you have. True leaders set proper expectations and show kindness by working to understand the motivations, needs, and desires of those they lead.
The secret sauce to ultimate leadership is courage. It is courage that is shown in kindness. When you lead with kindness you will finally bring out the best in everyone. You will become a true multiplier.
"Life-Enriching Education: an education that prepares children to learn
throughout their lives, relate well to others, and themselves, be creative, flexible, and venturesome, and have empathy not only for their immediate kin but for all of humankind."
~Marshall B. Rosenberg
Article
Teaching Nonviolent Communication in a US Prison
Having looked at why conflict is inevitable, violence isn’t, I’d like to look at a teaching situation. In the car on the way to the prison I tried to prepare myself for meeting the inmates by wondering what they would look like. A few weeks earlier I’d seen a documentary about St. Quentin Prison, in which the inmates showed off their numerous scars from knife-wounds – a common way to settle scores.
But for me, the scariest part was waiting to be let in, expecting to be strip-searched, looking at the razor wire and the heavy, magnetic remote-controlled doors. Once we were inside, I felt more relaxed, though I had to keep reminding myself where I was – a state prison on the East Coast of the US, and why I’d come – to share Nonviolent Communication (NVC) with a group of prison inmates.
We sat and waited in the ‘Chapel’ – a large high-ceilinged room with a glass window along one side and a uniformed CO (Correction Officer) sitting outside. Men in brown prison uniforms came in and filled up the circle of chairs around me. Twelve or fifteen of them, mainly middle-aged, three or four in their late twenties.
I introduced the purpose of NVC – to create the kind of connection that would lead to get everybody’s ‘needs’ being met – and led through some exercises to help us get to know each other. To my relief, the men seemed relaxed with each other, and were willing to share their experiences. I talked about feelings, and how feelings give us information about our ‘needs’ (what’s important to us). We made a list of ‘needs’ on the
flipchart. I remember being surprised how easily the men identified their ‘needs’: safety, peace of mind, trust, honesty, independence, comfort, connection, safety (again).
Then I raised the issue of what happens when I’ve ‘screwed up’ or done something that I’m not happy with. I talked about the ‘need’ for mourning, for grieving lost dreams, lost lives. I said that this part of NVC had been a revelation for me. For the first 40 years of my life, I’d tried to throw feelings of grief out with the rubbish – because I couldn’t see any meaning to them. This had led me to several depressions. NVC had helped me to understand that
grief is a ‘need’ – a natural part of human life, just as much as celebrating when things go well. In fact, for me, mourning and celebration are two sides of the same coin of honoring our ‘needs’. I said that by honoring grief and mourning, the process had become integrating and healing for me.
And as I talked about ‘mourning for lost dreams and lost lives’ something happened that I found deeply moving – every man in the room made eye contact with me, silently. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that, or the sense of shared humanity I felt at that moment.
India Inc Battles Sexual Harassment With Workshops
By Mid-Day.com
In the last three years, Anthony Alex, founder and CEO of Rainmaker, a Juhu-based online learning company, has helped several organizations comply with the Prevention Of Sexual Harassment law (PoSH), 2013, by training its entire workforce and management. But in the last six months, the demand has reached a crescendo, thanks to the #MeToo movement that saw powerful men from various quarters being outed for their predatory behavior. Companies no longer want
to appear tone deaf when it comes to sexual harassment complaints. "Being named in a sexual harassment allegation can be damaging for an organisation, legally as well as reputation-wise," adds Alex.
India Inc, therefore, is finding recourse in gender sensitization workshops. The training is built on the premise that in society, women have different realities on the basis of their sex, and why it's important that workplace ethics go beyond gender. "Companies are striving to make workplaces gender sensitive, and to an extent gender neutral, where your orientation doesn't matter but what you bring to the table," he says. A graduate of National Law
School, Bangalore, Alex started his career with ICICI Bank in 1998 and later moved to set up law firm Kochhar & Co’s Mumbai office.
"There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called
Yesterday and the other is called Tomorrow. Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live."
~Dalai Lama
Inspirational, Fun and Other Good Stuff
Pinteresting
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner
peace."
~Dalai Lama
A Night of "Compassion in Action" Comes to NYC
On the night of May 15 in New York City, we saw 4 incredible short films as part of the “OnBuddhasPath: Compassion in Action” Short Film Tour’s first screening. We also had the chance to get a deeper, more personal look at what drives those who practice socially engaged Buddhism, and how we can, too.
Conceived by Meiji Stewart - Illustrator David Blasidell
Misc
UNAI to Host Conference on Unlocking Your Emotions to Achieve the SDGs
by United Nations Academic Impact
The 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development is an ambitious plan to achieve a world that is more peaceful, just and prosperous for everyone. The 17 Sustainable Development Goals provide a blueprint for creating a sustainable world for people and the planet – with a focus on increasing access to education, ending hunger and
poverty, empowering women and girls, being good stewards of the environment, including our forests and oceans, and building stronger institutions that promote and protect human rights.
Research and technological innovations will play a role in achieving the SDGs, but more importantly people who are equipped with Emotional Intelligence will be key to realizing the goals in the next ten years.
Emotional Intelligence, or EI, is broadly defined as the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions in an effective and positive way. Teaching children and adults the tools of Emotional Intelligence can help individuals communicate better, reduce anxiety and stress, defuse conflicts, improve relationships, empathize with others, contribute to conflict prevention and peacebuilding, and help develop global citizens
who are concerned about the well-being of others.
Speakers include:
CNVC’s very own senior NVC trainer of many years, Alan Seid will also be doing a workshop at this event along with
Daniel Goleman, Author of Emotional Intelligence and co-director of the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations
Michelle Nevarez, Director of the Daniel Goleman Emotional Intelligence Coaching and Training
Bintou Keita, UN Assistant Secretary-General for Africa, Department of Political and Peacebuilding Affairs
Chris Ruane, Creator of the Mindfulness All Party Parliamentary Group (MAPPG) and executive at The Mindfulness Initiative
Rich Fernandez, CEO of Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute
Patricia Freedman, Director of Marketing for Six Seconds
The conference is free and open to the public. Please RSVP here by Monday, 13 May 2019 at 2pm. Please plan to arrive by 9:15am at the Visitors Entrance of the UN on First Avenue and 46th Street to allow enough time for check-in and security screening. If you cannot attend in person you can watch the event live via webcast
at webtv.un.org.
"To practice NVC, it's critical for me to be able to slow down, take my time, to
come from an energy I choose, the one I believe that we were meant to come from, not the one I was programmed into. I start the day with a remembering of where I want to be."
~Marshall B. Rosenberg
Misc
Disability Action Center Host Non-Violent Crisis Communication Training
by WBOY Channel 12
FAIRMONT, W.Va. - Educators, youth workers and community members came together Monday morning to take part in a non-violent communication training session.
The Disability Action Center hosted the training for teachers and others who come in contact with children on a daily basis through work and other events.
"It's not just good skills and good communication to learn for working with people with disabilities," said Julie Sole, director of the D.A.C."This is wonderful to do across the board, whether you are teaching in a classroom, you can be at another non-profit United Way agency that works with another marginalized population. Anyone who can be at risk or under stress or anxiety. So, learning how to use the right communication skills, de-escalate a situation
before any type of situation can start is just really valuable."
The two-hour session featured a presentation that focused on ways to appropriately approach children in a proactive manner during a crisis situation to de-escalate problems.
"A lot of things happen on the way to a school or bus stop. Somebody says something, parents have a bad day with them, these kids are showing up and they got this chip on their shoulder. So, how do we help them get that chip? How can we be supportive of them and the ways that we do that will hopefully prevent them from acting out," said Jim Davis.
The Disability Action Center hosts a variety of public training and educational presentations throughout the year. For more information on the D.A.C. and its programs you can visit their website at www.disabilityactioncenter.com.
A recent review of NVC3 on Amazon (another 5 star review)
This is powerful book on how to effectively communicate with others. It contains the theory of NVC. But more importantly, it contains the steps and real life examples that drive the message home.
We added a NVC 3rd print edition recently with an additional chapter on 'Conflict Resolution and Mediation'. This is not included in the Sounds True recording.
Stay Connected to the Values of Compassion With the Free 366 Daily Peaceful Living Meditations. Read one sample
below
Day 153: Considering the Needs of Other People
If you only focus on what you want, you are only halfway there. One of the basic principles of Nonviolent Communication is valuing everyone’s needs equally. Remember that needs are the underlying reasons why we do
things.
You might go to the store to pick up food to feed your family. Your need is to feed your family and your strategy is to go to the store. If you didn’t have enough food to feed everyone in your family tonight, would you
like to eat your fill and let others go hungry? Or would you like to find a way to meet everyone’s need for food? Most of us would want to find a way to feed everyone in our family.
We are not always able to meet everyone’s needs, but we certainly value them. If we focus on other people’s needs at our own expense, we focus too much on others. If we focus on our own needs at the expense of others,
we focus too much on ourselves.
The consciousness we strive for is to value everyone’s needs equally. We feel the power of this consciousness when we realize that there are creative ways to meet many people’s needs simultaneously. Indeed, the Universe
is abundant with resources to do this if we are willing to be present to them.
Today, notice when it is easy for you to value everyone’s needs and when you are limited in doing this.
If you would like to receive 366 free Peaceful Daily Meditations please sign up here. Your subscription is absolutely free, and you can unsubscribe from the series at any time.
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