"All human beings have a capacity for compassion and empathy and that people only resort to violence or
behavior harmful to others when they do not recognize more effective strategies for meeting needs."
~Marshall Rosenberg
Featured Article
How Do /You/ Meditate?
Published on Thrive Global
By Oren Jay Sofer, A member of the Spirit Rock Teachers Council, he is a Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication and a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner for the healing of trauma.
What do most students struggle with or get wrong? Probably the number one place we create extra struggle for ourselves in meditation is with our expectations. This is something that we learn about from the first moments of our practice all the way through deeper stages of meditation. Initially, it starts out quite gross: we have expectations that meditation means stopping thoughts and feeling calm
and peaceful. Then, whenever we can’t control our mind and produce that kind of experience, we judge ourselves as failing, struggle, and feel miserable!
Connecting With Self and Others: LETTING GO OF EGO
By Rachelle Lamb
I would say that an ego that serves well is an ego that occupies no more space than is necessary for basic human survival. For the ego to be kept in check, attention must be fully given to that which dwells within us that is greater than the ego. The life force within us that aspires to the greater good must finally become the source from which our words and actions emanate.
"Don't hate the circumstance, you may miss the
blessing."
~Marshall Rosenberg
Article
NVC Instruction Self-Guide From CNVC
Note: Much of the information in this instruction guide draws extensively from the work of Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. as presented in his book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. We strongly recommend that the best way to learn about Nonviolent Communication is to read the book and use the workbook in combination with this guide, as well as find a group of people with whom to practice these important skills. Throughout
each section of this guide you will find references to particular sections from the book or from Lucy Leu’s Nonviolent Communication Companion Workbook.
From the Summer 1998 issue of "Yes! A Journal of Positive Futures" magazine
SARAH: What was it that first got you interested in nonviolent communication?
MARSHALL: I got interested in this type of communication through pondering two kinds of smiles. My family was the only Jewish family in our Detroit neighborhood, and I was exposed to a considerable amount of violence. The beatings every day on my way home were not pleasant, of course, but what bothered me most was that the on-lookers would smile and enjoy it.
During each day of my childhood, I also saw another kind of smile. My grandmother was totally paralyzed with Lou Gehrig's Disease, and my uncle came over co help care for her every day after he finished working. My grandmother was incontinent at that time, so it required cleaning her up. As a boy of eight or nine, I thought it was a horrible job! But I couldn't wait for the uncle to come, because he smiled as though he were
getting the greatest pleasure a person could get just by serving my grandmother.
I grew up wondering why, it is that some people smile when others are being beaten and other people smile when they're giving pleasure, even though it may mean doing dirty work.
"It may be most difficult to empathize with those we are closest
to."
~Marshall Rosenberg
February 2020 Book Specials
NVC Books!
Words That Work in Business - A Practical Guide to Effective Communication
Offering clear ways to ease tension and improve a workplace atmosphere, regardless of one's position
Addressing the most common workplace relationship challenges, this manual shows how to use the principles of nonviolent communication to improve any workplace atmosphere. Offering practical tools that match recognizable work scenarios, this guide can help all employees positively affect their work relationships and company culture, regardless of their position. This handbook displays proven communication skills for effectively handling
difficult conversations, reducing workplace conflict and stress, improving individual and team productivity, having more effective meetings, and giving and receiving meaningful feedback, thereby creating a more enjoyable work environment.
Collaborating in the Workplace - A Guide for Building Better Teams
Hands-on strategies for strengthening the connections between and the productivity of workers
Collaborating in the Workplace arms readers with tips to help teams collaborate and create more powerful outcomes. Focusing on the key skills necessary for effective collaboration, along with practical exercises to help improve these skills, the goal of this informative volume is to encourage the creation of connections that lead to powerful communication and better results. The authors cover such topics as: how stress impacts daily
interactions; ways of listening that create a deeper understanding and connection with others; preparing for, practicing, and learning from difficult conversations; tricky workplace communication issues that tend to trip people up, such as interrupting, giving feedback, and being clear about requests. With step-by-step exercises and guidelines for practice, readers can learn the skills necessary to make any team work better together.
To contribute to needs for clarity and acknowledgment we request that you use each file in its entirety and keep them intact, including all copyright and contact information.
Article
Freedom Project: Nonviolent Communication and Mindfulness Training in Prison
Freedom Project trains prisoners in nonviolent communication and meditation. Two complementary studies of its effects are reported in this article. The first study is correlational; we found decreased recidivism rates among prisoners trained by Freedom Project compared with recidivism rates in Washington state. The second study compared trained prisoners with a matched-pair control group and found improvement in self-reported anger,
self-compassion, and certain forms of mindfulness among the trained group. Ratings of role-plays simulating difficult interactions show increased social skills among the group trained by Freedom Project than in the matched controls.
Sample Questions and Answer Session with Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. from his booklet
Is spirituality important in the process of Nonviolent Communication?
I think it is important that people see that spirituality is at the base of Nonviolent Communication, and that they learn the mechanics of the process with that in mind. It’s really a spiritual practice that I am trying to show as a way of life. Even though we don’t mention this, people get seduced by the practice. Even if they practice this as a mechanical technique, they start to experience things between themselves and other people they
weren’t able to experience before. So eventually they come to the spirituality of the process. They begin to see that it’s more than a communication process and realize it’s really an attempt to manifest a certain spirituality. So I have tried to integrate the spirituality into the training in a way that meets my need not to destroy the beauty of it through abstract philosophizing.
What does God mean to you?
I need a way to think of God that would work for me, other words or ways to look at this beauty, this powerful energy, and so my name for God is “Beloved Divine Energy.” For a while it was just Divine Energy but then I was reading some of the Eastern religions, and Eastern poets, and I loved how they had this personal, loving connection with this Energy. And I found that it added to me to call it “Beloved” Divine Energy. To me this Beloved
Divine Energy is life, connection to life.
What is your favorite way of knowing Beloved Divine Energy? It is how I connect with human beings. I know Beloved Divine Energy by connecting with human beings in a certain way. I not only see Divine Energy, I taste Divine Energy, I feel Divine Energy, and I am Divine Energy. I’m connected with Beloved Divine Energy when I connect with human beings in this certain way. Then God is very alive for
me. Also talking with trees, talking with dogs and pigs, those are some of my other favorite ways.
Is spirituality important in the process of Nonviolent Communication? I think it is important that people see that spirituality is at the base of Nonviolent Communication, and that they learn the mechanics of the process with that in mind. It’s really a spiritual practice that I am trying to show as a way of life. Even though we don’t mention this, people get seduced by the practice. Even if they
practice this as a mechanical technique, they start to experience things between themselves and other people they weren’t able to experience before. So eventually they come to the spirituality of the process. They begin to see that it’s more than a communication process and realize it’s really an attempt to manifest a certain spirituality. So I have tried to integrate the spirituality into the training in a way that meets my need not to destroy the beauty of it through abstract philosophizing.
Empathy is an essential leadership skill and a cornerstone of good relationships—but it can be hard to access when it's most needed. Luckily, empathy is also a learnable skill, with the power to move conversations out of gridlock and pain. With mindfulness, empathy has deescalated conflicts, combated loneliness, and built human connections in the most unlikely places. With this book, readers will learn how anger and blame get translated
and productive dialogues made possible, how to repair arguments before they cause damage, and how self-empathy transforms relationships.
For three short meaningful introductions from 3 chapters - home, work and community, please click here.
In The News
Season of Nonviolence
"Carry The Vision”
Jan 30-April 4th 2020
For more related information , you may find value in The Peace Alliance website https://peacealliance.org/.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) is a global nonprofit organization founded by Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D. We are dedicated to sharing Nonviolent Communication (NVC) around the world, and, to that end, we offer International Intensive Trainings and we certify individuals as trainers.
NVC is about connecting with ourselves and others from the heart. It’s about seeing the humanity in all of us. It’s about recognizing our commonalities and differences and finding ways to make life wonderful for all of us.
We added a NVC 3rd print edition recently with an additional chapter on 'Conflict Resolution and Mediation'. This is not included in the Sounds True recording.
Stay Connected to the Values of Compassion With the Free 366 Daily Peaceful Living Meditations. Read one sample
below
From the book Peaceful Living-Daily Meditations for Living, Love and Compassion
by Mary Mackenzie
Love is not a possession. It is the flow of God’s energy.
—Swami Chidvilasananda
Listening Deeply
Love and compassion don’t recognize right or wrong, good or bad. If you’re struggling in a relationship, try not to judge it. Rather, focus on what you both want.
What is the important thing behind both people’s words and actions? If someone says, “You don’t care anything about me,” what do you think she really wants? I’m guessing she wants to be valued and cared about. She might also want her needs to be considered. If you focus on her words, you may recall all the times you’ve done a caring thing for her. Or you might argue about whether you care or not. This type of
argument results in more anger and contempt because it doesn’t demonstrate that you’ve heard the other person, or that you care about them.
A more effective response could be focusing on the underlying needs you’re hearing behind the words, such as: “Sounds like you’re bummed and you’d like to know that I value you. Is that right?” You might not agree with the person’s statement. You don’t have to. All you are doing is acknowledging her feelings. Once she feels heard, you have set the stage for a full conversation to resolve the situation.
Commit to connecting to the feelings of at least one person today.
Also Free Daily
Peaceful Living-Daily Meditations for Living, Love and Compassion by Mary Mackenzie
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