Nonviolent Communication April 2020 newsletter - Many articles/audios/videos/songs/tips and more to stay safe, happy.
Published: Fri, 04/03/20
Nonviolent Communication April 2020 Newsletter
From PuddleDancer Press, the largest publisher of
Nonviolent Communication books
What You'll Find in This Month's Newsletter:
There are many articles, audios, videos, songs, tips and much more on staying as happy, healthy and safe, as you can during these difficult Corona virus scary times. We hope most people will find something of value. There is comfort, compassion, connection, empathy, music and laughter that can be found in this
newsletter.
Please share this with family, friends, loved one’s and colleagues – and of course, only if you are willing : )
Articles
Care for us, and them, during these difficult times.
Empathy and Mindfulness with Inner Conversations of Fear and Anxiety
During a Pandemic, Isaac Newton has to work from home, too. He used the time wisely.
Being Well by Sarah Peyton - Our health and well-being starts with our neurons
And three more!
Book Specials
50% OFF Sale on Essential Parenting and Educational Resources to help during these challenging times. (Five books)
Two 9 day (IIT) Intensive Nine Day NVC Immersion Training Reports
Audios/Videos
This is Hysterical! If you think you don't need a weird dog video to get you through this pandemic, you're mistaken!
Homeschooling can be a challenge, how to respond to the "I don't want to, I hate it"?
A Nonviolent Communication-based COVID-19 video with some tips/examples on talking with family
Thank you COVID-19
NVC Academy offers the following FREE highly recommended audio and video resources.
Inspirational Poems/Writings
Pandemic
What I Wish I Could Say
Guided Meditations
"Compassionately Embracing" Robert Gonzales
NVC morning meditation and gratitude practice
In the News
Several news releases about staying healthy
Inspirational and Fun Songs!
Neil Diamond changes lyrics to "Sweet Caroline" in Coronavirus PS
I'm Alive - Kenny Chesney and Dave Matthew
Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobbie McFarren
Compassion in Action - Two heartwarming stories
Feeding those in need
A patient's perspective
Pinteresting
The Way We Talk to Our Children
Handouts
Many Invaluable Handouts from a senior CNVC trainer, John Kinyon
100 Coping Skills
Marshall Rosenberg Quotes
A collection donated by Jean Morrison
Peaceful Meditation - Serenity
NVC Resources (scroll down to bottom)
NVC TIP SERIES (Free daily and weekly tips)
FREE RESOURCES
NVC FACEBOOK GROUPS
NVC YAHOO GROUPS
Scroll down to see all...
NVC Academy offers the following highly recommended free video and audio - for these challenging times.
Care for us, and them, during these difficult times
By John Kinyon
As we humans deal with the global challenge of Coronavirus, I am seeing the way systems here in the U.S. are set up and functioning in ways that make the non-wealthy particularly vulnerable. The strong government support and social safety nets we had decades ago have been drastically weakened over time, and now as this health emergency unfolds it is heart-breaking how financially vulnerable most people are. I feel waves of anger and pain
surge through me as this reality becomes more and more visible. The need for care for one another in society, caring for all of us, at all levels, and opportunity and access to healthcare and well-being, burns glowing-hot in my belly.
Empathy and Mindfulness with Inner Conversations of Fear and Anxiety
By John Kinyon
I am wondering how you are doing with the impacts of the Coronavirus? How intense is the fear and anxiety for you? Are you scared about protecting and providing for yourself and those you love? As we humans deal with the intensity of this challenge that Nature is bringing to us, it is so easy and natural to be caught in the grip of deep fear and even panic.
During a pandemic, Isaac Newton had to work from home, too. He used the time wisely.
Published by The Washington Post, Gillian Brockell
Isaac Newton was in his early 20s when the Great Plague of London hit. He wasn’t a “Sir” yet, didn’t have that big formal wig. He was just another college student at Trinity College, Cambridge. It would be another 200 years before scientists discovered the bacteria that causes plague, but even without knowing exactly why, folks back then still practiced some of the same things we do to avoid illness. In 1665, it was a version of “social
distancing” — a public health tool making a comeback this week as governments, schools and many businesses, including The Washington Post, send people home to try to slow the spread of the novel coronavirus. Cambridge sent students home to continue their studies. For Newton, that meant Woolsthorpe Manor, the family estate about 60 miles northwest of Cambridge.
What if you thought of it
as the Jews consider the Sabbath—
the most sacred of times?
Cease from travel.
Cease from buying and selling.
Give up, just for now,
on trying to make the world
different than it is.
Sing. Pray. Touch only those
to whom you commit your life.
Center down.
And when your body has become still,
reach out with your heart.
Know that we are connected
in ways that are terrifying and beautiful.
(You could hardly deny it now.)
Know that our lives
are in one another’s hands.
(Surely, that has come clear.)
Do not reach out your hands.
Reach out your heart.
Reach out your words.
Reach out all the tendrils
of compassion that move, invisibly,
where we cannot touch.
Promise this world your love–
for better or for worse,
in sickness and in health,
so long as we all shall live.
Here’s what I’d like to be able to say to you: “Don’t worry, the situation is under control. The pandemic, tumbling stock markets, social isolation, canceled flights, surging panic, and illnesses and deaths caused by coronavirus (COVID-19) will soon be a thing of the past. Before long we’ll all be able to go back to our normal lives and tell stories about how we got through this.”
Sadly, I can’t — not because I have any special intel, but because I simply don’t know. And like you, I’m scared.
Zen speaks of “don’t know mind,” a kind of open, groundless awareness that doesn’t fixate on outcomes. As Rev. angel Kyodo Williams explains in the forthcoming issue of Buddhadharma, practicing “don’t know mind” involves tolerating the discomfort of uncertainty.
Our health and well-being starts with our neurons Emotion that takes us over also wears us down. When we don’t have choice about our feelings: whether they are ceaseless anxiety, relentless terror, simmering rage, or unending grief, they erode our well-being and affect our ability to handle stress. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) encourages a practice of naming what is happening emotionally and what deep currents of needs are fuelling
our longings. Research shows that naming feelings helps us to calm and soothe ourselves, changing the electrical flow of energy and information in the brain’s emotional center, the amygdala.(Tabibnia et al., 2008) However, other research shows that most of us don’t believe that putting words to our feelings helps us. We don’t think that it makes things better to name what’s happening, even though the effectiveness of this approach can be seen on fMRI’s. (Lieberman et al., 2011)
1. Choose a quiet and uplifted place to do your meditation practice. Sit cross-legged on a meditation cushion, or if that’s difficult, sit on a straight-backed chair with your feet flat on the floor, without leaning against the back of the chair.
The history of communication itself can be traced back since the origin of speech circa 500,000 BCE – from primitive times, to petroglyphs, to pictograms, to ideograms, to writing – the common theme has always been storytelling. Throughout history, we’ve seen that what people say and how they communicate can either inspire people or destroy them. A great communicator creates emotional, real and personal connections, executed through
humility and empathy.
A Nonviolent Communication-based COVID-19 video with some tips/examples on talking with family about requests you have about staying home, social distance, etc.
Collected by Jean Morrison, mostly from the 80’s,90’s
"You have never done anything wrong. You never have; you never will. You have done some things, that if you knew then what you are learning now, you would have done differently. And the fun part is that it will always be this way."
Marshall B. Rosenberg
"We can make life miserable or wonderful for ourselves and others depending upon how we think and communicate."
Marshall B. Rosenberg
We are responsible for what we hear other people say, and how we act.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO LIVE MISERABLY AND VIOLENTLY:
1. Use a language that labels and evaluates them
2. judge them as bad or wrong
3. believe and treat them as if they deserve to suffer
4. teach them the strategies of reward, punishment, praise, guilt, and manipulation
Marshall B. Rosenberg
People’s behaviors can stimulate my reactions, they do not cause them. Therefore, there is no need for me ever to suffer! Their behaviors are about them, not me! Leave myself out of the other person’s pain! Empathize with the person in THEIR world: their feelings and unmet needs, their desires and dreams. This is how to “enjoy” another person’s pain. When you purely empathize in the giraffe dance.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how you would like to relate to yourself and others. Marshall B. Rosenberg
Let’s play, “What will make life more wonderful”!!
Rules to play by:
1. do everything willingly
2. don’t tell a person what they are; don’t hear when another person says what I am
3. no punishment, rewards, guilt inducement, shame inducement, concepts of duty.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
If you have a plant that isn’t growing as you’d like, do you punish it?
Marshall B. Rosenberg
When we understand the needs that motivate our own and others behaviors we have no enemies.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Vengeance is a distorted cry for empathy. We really want the other person to empathize with us in a way that we see some learning/change go on with the other person.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
When we blame others we give up the power to change ourselves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Most of our pain is not at our needs not getting met;
its mostly of our interpretations of the cause.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
To connect with the divine in others: connect with the need in the other person that isn’t getting met, instead of seeing the “wrongness” in them.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
My anger is telling me 3 things:
I’m focusing on my thoughts about the other person
I’m not conscious of my needs
I’m about to behave in a way I’ll regret Marshall B. Rosenberg
Idiomatic giraffe – when I speak non-classical giraffe with the intention of giraffe.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
“I'm suggesting that we learn to look at the needs we're trying to meet with our action. We can learn best from it if we do two things. First, see the need that wasn't met by the behavior. And next, be conscious of the need we were trying to meet by doing what we did. When we have our awareness focused on those two needs, I believe it heightens our ability to learn from our limitations without losing self-respect."
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Article
The scientifically proven, step-by-step guide to having a breakthrough conversation across party lines
By Quartz, Lila MacLellan
There seems to be no way around it: In the aftermath of a contentious US presidential election, conversations between voters all along the political spectrum either devolve into shouting matches and insults, or irreconcilable platitudes. If they occur at all. But we’ve been here before, according to the late psychologist Marshall Rosenberg. As a communications coach and mediator for civil rights and student activists during the US civil
rights era, Rosenberg developed a practical strategy for peaceful conflict resolution called non-violent communication. By focusing on language and process, the theory goes, injured parties can shift the tone of their communication and spur collaboration.
This video echoes a positive/optimistic side ...our "best case" analysis and hope of what will come out of this.
(That said, I have parallel at play, a view of the possible dark side outcomes, also at play.)
If I have any minor "yes, but" in response it would be this:
Riya stating, or at least strongly implying that we all were "taking for granted" our abundance of products, freedom, health and needed a corona virus to wake up to that. I wish she had found different language to express the truth she is conveying.
I certainly don't mind the reminder to not take things like that for granted. Yet, I can only speak definitely for myself (though I suspect millions of others could say this) many people rarely have taken for granted those, nor other things such as love of, from, and to, others, nor the gift of life itself.”
Regardless of my interpretation, it’s a beautiful reminder of how precious life is- and I, and PuddleDancer Press wanted to share these thoughts with you : )
Attributed to Alex Censor- A Senior CNVC Trainer
Article
Together in the COVID-19 Pandemic
By Anita Pottekkatt (anita3@gmail.com)
Few situations in my adult life have made more visible the bonds between us than the covid-19 pandemic. As I grapple with fear, uncertainty and powerlessness, I put together some antidotes that I hope will be helpful for others as well.
To contribute to needs for clarity and acknowledgment we request that you use each file in its entirety and keep them intact, including all copyright and contact information.
In The News
CDC: You should be disinfecting your home every day
Even while stuck at home, the Atlanta-based Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says you should be disinfecting and cleaning as often as every day.The CDC recommends on its website regularly disinfecting high-touch surfaces like tables, hard-backed chairs, doorknobs, light switches, remotes, handles, desks, toilets and sinks.
4 things you can do to stay sage if you have to run errands during the COVID-19 pandemic
Americans are being urged to stay home from work, practice social distancing and steer clear of crowded places amid the COVID-19 pandemic, which has infected at least 9,400 people in the United States, across all 50 states.
The Centers for Disease Control’s COVID-19 prevention guidelines include avoiding “discretionary” travel, shopping trips and social visits for at least 15 days.
But what should you do if you have to run an essential errand, such as grocery shopping or visiting the pharmacy?
Join CNN Chief Medical Correspondent Dr. Sanja Gupta for the latest news about the coronavirus. He'll make sense of the headlines, speak with experts and give you all the information you need to stay safe and healthy.
How to Handle Packages During the Coronavirus Pandemic? How long does the Coronavirus live on packages?
With social distancing and self-isolation increasingly becoming the norm (and, in many cases, a government mandate) during the coronavirus pandemic, a lot of Americans are actively avoiding the crowds at Costco and the grocery store in favor of shopping online. (And, of course, most of the products we recommend here at Wirecutter are purchased online and delivered to your door.) But the packages you order on the Internet aren’t exactly
sterile. They’ve each likely been touched by multiple people—the person who put your food or item in the package, the person who loaded it onto a truck, the person who hands you your bag or box, and so on. How careful should you be?
Amid the desperate crowds and sparse shelves at supermarkets across the country, there is grace in the aisles. Jayde Powell is a "shopping angel," and she and her growing army of volunteers are providing free grocery delivery to the sick and elderly.
A patient, Bill Campbell, recently wrote to us expressing his gratitude for the compassionate care he received from our teams. Bill shared how much the "care moments” meant to him throughout his journey. Compassion is in everything we do and it touches the lives of the people we serve and their families.
A special thanks to Bill for sharing his story and allowing us to capture the feeling of compassion in our organization.
TWO 9 day (IIT) Intensive Nine Day Immersion in NVC Training Reports
#1 - This is about some senior trainers experience of Corona and the Mideast IIT
The energy changed in a flash. One of our Palestinian trainers, a Beit Jala resident, showed me a text she had just received from the Palestinian Ministry of Health about the situation. I don’t remember the words; the way I made meaning of the message was, get out [of the West Bank] now. That message was now being communicated throughout our group, from unsettled body to unsettled body, transferring fear, confusion and
even panic.
#2 - Florida 2020 IIT Trainer Report - February 21 - March 1, 2020
Our organizers were Tricia Martin and Mark Friedman and our trainer team consisted of Christiaan Zandt (Netherlands), Stephanie Bachmann Mattei (Florida, USA), Christine King (California, USA), and Alan Rafael Seid (Washington State, USA).
Based on what we as trainers experienced, heard and read from participants' verbal and written feedback, this IIT was filled with joy & learning, healing for many of the participants, and transformative for several. The trainer team appreciated the depth of connection, cohesion, care and trust within the team, as well as a mutually shared awareness of upholding a relationship of stewardship with
participants at all times. We were deeply appreciative of our two experienced organizers who took care of every detail and made it possible for the trainers to focus on our workshops.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) is a global nonprofit organization founded by Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D. We are dedicated to sharing Nonviolent Communication (NVC) around the world, and, to that end, we offer International Intensive Trainings and we certify individuals as trainers.
NVC is about connecting with ourselves and others from the heart. It’s about seeing the humanity in all of us. It’s about recognizing our commonalities and differences and finding ways to make life wonderful for all of us.
Stay Connected to the Values of Compassion With the Free 366 Daily Peaceful Living Meditations. Read one sample
below
From the book Peaceful Living-Daily Meditations for Living, Love and Compassion
by Mary Mackenzie
Serenity as a Consciousness
Serenity doesn’t mean that everything in our lives is smooth. It means that no matter what is happening, we have faith in a higher purpose. Serenity is a choice. I used to experience emotional highs and lows. Then one day, a friend said to me: “You know, I don’t get it. You say that you have a full spiritual life, yet you hit these deep emotional bottoms. Where is your faith when you do that?” This hit home;
she was right. Now, I choose to hold onto my faith that all is well in the Universe no matter how it may appear in the moment. Sometimes I view something as good, and then I find that it was harmful. Other times, I consider something to be bad, but then find that I benefit hugely from it. Now, I try not to judge anything. It is not for me to decide whether something is good or bad. My role is to decide how I feel about it and what needs it will or will not meet. I’ll let the Universe do the
rest.
For today, no matter what is happening in your life, choose to believe that all is well in the Universe.
Choose serenity. Then take action to resolve any situations that are not enjoyable to you.
Also Free Daily
Peaceful Living-Daily Meditations for Living, Love and Compassion by Mary Mackenzie
We hope you find value in our monthly newsletters. We would love to receive ANY feedback or suggestions you may want to share. Please let others know about our newsletter to help spread nonviolent communication, love, hope, humor and compassion, if you are willing :)
We want a more compassionate, equitable, peaceful, safe and healthy world.
